Happiness often comes from within. This article can show you how to tame those negative thoughts and approach every day with optimism.
Thinking negatively can be a contributing factor in a variety of health issues, including social anxiety, depression, stress, and low self-esteem. The first step in altering your negative thinking patterns is to realise how you currently think (and the difficulties that arise as a direct result of this), and then to implement techniques that will either change these thoughts or make them have less of an impact on you.
The answer may surprise you! In many cases, depression is actually the result of habitual negative thoughts. When bad things happen, we often chastise ourselves with negative thoughts like: “I’m no good,” “I’m a total failure,” “Nothing ever goes my way,” or “I’m inadequate.” Our feelings constantly follow what we are thinking, and negative thoughts like these can send us spiraling down into anxiety and depression.
Your thoughts shape your reality, creating a blueprint for how things will turn out in your life.This concept is incredibly relevant for many patients I see in general naturopathic practice. I encourage you to print this article and read it carefully. Reflect on which category you fit into. Are you like Rhonda, or maybe like Donna? Examine your “self-talk.” You may be too hard on yourself or have unreasonably high expectations of yourself and others. We are all guilty of this because we are all human beings. Adrenally fatigued people often experience depression, anxiety, and general feelings of unhappiness at some stage.
Understanding why and how you think and react to a given situation allows you to “reframe” as Dr. Wilson mentions in his book, “Adrenal Fatigue: The 21st Century Stress Syndrome.” Our practice has sold hundreds of copies, and I can’t recommend this book highly enough for anyone, whether for personal reading or to give to a friend or family member who has fatigue or suffers from stress. If we think something often enough, we begin to believe it’s true, and our feelings match what we are thinking about ourselves. To conquer depression, we must stop those automatic negative thoughts and replace them with more positive, truthful ones. By nipping these thoughts in the bud, we can halt depression before it even starts.
See if you recognize yourself in any of these 10 common cognitive distortions or faulty thought patterns, that send us into depression.
John recently applied for a promotion in his firm. The job went to another employee with more experience. John wanted this job badly and now feels that he will never be promoted. He feels that he is a total failure in his career. He thinks it is all over for him and he will never get an opportunity like this again. Of course he won’t, this is what he is projecting to others.
Linda often feels lonely and spends most of her time at home. Despite invitations from friends to join them for dinner and meet new people, she dismisses these opportunities, convinced that no one could genuinely like her. In her mind, people are generally mean and superficial.
When we overgeneralize, we take isolated instances and apply them universally.
Consider Linda’s friends who care about her and encourage her to socialize. Clearly, there are individuals who value her.”
The next time you catch yourself overgeneralizing, remember that while some people may share common traits, each person is unique. No two individuals are identical. Yes, there may be unkind and superficial people, and some may not like you. However, not everyone fits this mold. By assuming universal dislike, you create barriers that hinder you from forming meaningful friendships, something you deeply desire.
Mary’s having a tough day. On her drive home, another driver cuts her off. She mutters to herself about the rudeness of people in her town. Later, a kind gentleman waves her ahead of him, but she remains fixated on the negative experiences of her day. When someone falls victim to mental filters, they focus solely on the negative events and overlook the positive ones. Learning to find the silver lining in every cloud is crucial. It’s all about how you choose to let events affect you. Mary could have completely turned her day around if she had acknowledged the kindness of the man who went out of his way to help her.
Rhonda recently had her portrait taken. When her friend compliments her on how beautiful she looks, Rhonda dismisses the praise by suggesting the photographer must have touched up the picture. She claims she never looks that good in real life.
We depressives are adept at turning positives into negatives. This tendency often stems from low self-esteem, where we feel undeserving. To counteract this, simply accept compliments graciously. The next time someone praises you, resist the urge to undermine yourself. Just say “thank you” and smile. With practice, acknowledging your strengths will become second nature.
Geoff waits anxiously at the restaurant for his date who is now 20 minutes late. In his mind, he begins to blame himself, convinced he must have done something wrong to be stood up. Meanwhile, across town, his date is stuck in traffic, unaware of Geoff’s growing frustration.
Once again, we succumb to our insecurities and anticipate the worst. We start preparing for disappointment long before it happens. By the time Geoff learns the truth — that his date was delayed — he’s already worked himself into a frenzy.
Next time, give the benefit of the doubt- It saves unnecessary worry. If your concerns are valid, however, don’t hesitate to remove that person from your life swiftly.
Scott is on the football field, playing a game he’s practiced for weeks. Despite scoring the winning touchdown later, when his teammates praise him, he brushes it off, attributing his success to luck and criticizing himself for not performing better earlier.
“People who fall into the magnification/minimization trap often view their successes through the wrong end of the telescope and their failures through the other”
Imagine looking through a telescope from the wrong direction; everything appears smaller than it really is. Shift perspectives, and suddenly, everything seems larger.
To avoid this error, recall the saying, “He can’t see the forest for the trees.” When fixated on one mistake, we lose sight of the bigger picture. Step back occasionally and appreciate the whole scenario. Despite the slip-up, Scott played a commendable game overall. After all, everyone makes mistakes.
Laura surveys her cluttered house and immediately feels overwhelmed by the thought of cleaning. Convinced it’s futile to even attempt it, Laura’s judgment is based on her emotions rather than the reality of the situation. While the task seems daunting and makes her feel bad, is it truly hopeless? In truth, cleaning her house is a manageable task; it’s her current state of mind that clouds her perspective.
“When we base our decisions on emotions rather than facts, we engage in emotional reasoning,”
“Laura concludes it’s useless to try because she feels overwhelmed.”
The next time you face an overwhelming situation, try this approach: Break the task into smaller, manageable steps. Prioritize what’s most important to you, then start with the first item on your list. Surprisingly, taking action, no matter how small, can alleviate feelings of helplessness and motivate further progress. The key is to initiate movement toward your goal; each step forward builds momentum and breaks the cycle of feeling overwhelmed.
David waits impatiently in his doctor’s waiting room, irritated that the doctor is running late. He stewes, thinking, “Considering how much I’m paying him, he should be on time. He ought to show more consideration.” As time passes, bitterness and resentment build.
“We often impose ‘should’ statements on situations,”
“But reality doesn’t always align with our expectations.”
Instead of focusing on how things should be, concentrate on what you can change. If change isn’t possible, accept it as part of life’s unpredictability. Your mental well-being is paramount, far more important than clinging to expectations of how things ought to be.
Donna succumbs to temptation and cheats on her diet. Disappointed in herself, she thinks, “I’m a lazy and hopeless”
“In labeling herself as lazy and hopeless, Donna sets herself up to fulfill that negative label,”
“She may justify further indulgence by convincing herself she can’t lose weight anyway, perpetuating a cycle.”
Labeling can work positively too. Donna could reflect on her past strength in maintaining her diet. She could forgive herself for this slip, recognizing her ongoing efforts and past successes in weight loss. Viewing this as a temporary setback rather than a defining failure, Donna reaffirms her resilience and determination.
“With this positive outlook, Donna will regain her motivation and resume her path toward her weight loss goals,”
By reframing her thoughts, Donna can empower herself to overcome challenges and maintain her progress.
Jean’s son struggles in school, and she blames herself, feeling she must be a bad mother. She internalizes all responsibility for his academic performance, overlooking that he’s ultimately responsible for his actions.
“When we personalize situations, we take on undue responsibility,”
“Jean forgets her son is an individual with his own choices.”
Consider this: Would Jean take credit if her son excelled in school? Likely not; she’d recognize his effort. Similarly, she shouldn’t blame herself when he struggles. Self-criticism won’t change his behavior; only he can do that.
“These examples highlight common pitfalls,”
“Recognize personalization, challenge negative thoughts, and find positive solutions. Your thoughts shape your reality.”
Remember, understanding these patterns is the first step toward a positive mindset. Challenge negative thoughts, and your emotions will follow suit.
As David D. Burns advises in “Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy”, mastering these techniques can transform your outlook.